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The fine line between benefit of the doubt and accusing.

There have been to many missing children in America and when I say to many I mean even 1 missing child is to many, that 9 out of 10 times it's always a parent of family member behind it. When I see on the news of a child missing, I automatically think, yep one of the parents or a family member did it. People tell me don't be so quick to accuse. Well for one it really doesn't matter who I accuse because what I say is not going to determines anyones fate and hell the majority of missing children is family related! As a mother, it sickens me to the core when a child goes missing (regardless who did it). Everyone has the same question, how could someone do anything horrible to a child?  Honestly I don't think we will ever know. Last winter, a woman through her 2 month old child into a ditch filled with snow to take off after her bf whom she had been arguing with. By the grace of God, someone saw this act and picked up the child and by miracle the baby was ok because all the snow cushioned some of the impact of the fall. I could go on and on about all the things I read on cafemom blogs but I would only be working myself up into a huge ball of anger. To end this, people make me sick.

On another note, there are more good people in this world than bad ones. I have been doing some parent/family blog searching to connect with other mommas or dads. There is absolutely no one around me to talk to about parenting without critizing or thinking they are better than you. Yes yes I know you have more experiance as a mother but you can give me advice and suggestions. Not point everything you don't like that I do or make me look like bad mother, which I know by far that I am not. This is why I started to blog! 

One particular advice I have gotten about how to help relieve Annas teething pain is dip my finger in whiskey and rub it on her gums. I just can not bring myself to do this. Soooo many people tell me oh I did that with my child, well don't get mad at me if I don't want to do this. Ok so you did it for your kids, that was YOUR decision and I am not judging. There are so many things I am going to do different than what I saw other parents do to their children as I was growing up. All my life since I was little I was brought up around babies ( I am the only child) but someone was always popping out a baby. But back then when I was younger, almost every parent raised their children and disciplined their children the same way. For me, as a mother now, I see it best to do things differently. Some examples, to teach a child to stop biting their parents would bite them back (hard). No sorry I do not believe in this. If a child was potty training and they wet their pants, they would get a spanking, I will NOT do this to Anna. It's stupid! Any little mistake would end with a spanking. Now I do believe in spankings but come on, for spilling a glass of milk? No. Many parents do not believe in spanking at all and I respect that, but I have different beliefs. 

So my night is soon coming to a end. I think I may go search for more parent/family blogs. If you would like please follow! Would love to keep connected to other bloggers!

Blogging

I wanted to blog so that whole mess in the room is COMPLETELY clean lol. But now I am going into a small rant. I was on fb and just had to unfriend a lot of people. I HATE when, plp talk lik dis becuz its jus to hard 2 add da extra lettr N and spel sumthin correctly. It has become a huge pet peeve of mine and I want to throw a dictionary at them! Stop acting illiterate, it does not take much to properly spell a word. Ok see small rant and now it's over! 

So there has been this big thing around here about the movie, The Devil Inside. I have heard from a lot of people that is scared the crap out of them and they had to sleep with the lights on and blah blah blah. What a waste of money to spend on! It was a good movie but no where near scary but disgusting. Now I am a big horror fan and I have yet to come across a good horror movie lately and I don't mind the grossness for example the Saw movies I enjoyed, no I am not twisted, and I did not mind The Devil Inside being kind of gross but that's all it was. I can not figure out why people were so scared that they had to sleep with their lights on. The only part that freaked  me out and was gross is when the womans arm was bent in all different kinds of ways and you when they gave her a shot so her limbs would listen up, you could hear you shoulder popping back into place. I am not going to tell people not to go see it but it's not scary. Some people were freaked out by the movie Paranormal Activity, that was so freaking cheesy, about as cheesy as the Blair Witch Project. I honestly think Hollywood is running out of ideas for a good horror movie.

Once again, there are no plans in my agenda today. Just the wonderful company of my beautiful daughter who keeps me busy. Right now she is in her swing, yelling and talking to the mobile above her. *Pause, she is now crying, brb* Ok now with a belly full of mushy peaches, formula and three teething tablets, this little monster is doing better. 

My view right now. Another use for her teething tablets :). 

I changed my domain name on here so now all my images are broken :( I am sorry, it would take a lot of time to try and fix everyone of them so I may not get to reupload the pics

Baby Book

So I am not going with the traditional baby book. There is not much you put in a regular baby book and only so much you can put in. I got a few photos of what I am working on but it's not quite that great yet since I have more little decorations to add.

    

It's not much right now but it means a lot to me that I am making it from scratch and it means a lot to Anna as it does it to me!

 

On another note, I did not get to my room but the day is not over with yet! But I make no promises. I got to the rest of the place but I start dragging when I know I have to get that room so I think I am going to let my mom watch Anna and just tackle the dang thing. On a good note I finally got my case in for my iphone 4s! It changes different colors! I absolutely love it!

Well I have noticed that when Anna begings to crawl and gets to going, she is going to be destructive. Anything I give her she likes to tear up or throw. Right now she is sitting beside me with a magazine that every time she rips a page she looks up and smiles at me with a little bit of drool running down her chin. Right now it's cute but I know I will regret it later. However I will be back later, I will not blog again until my room is done!

Midnight

It is now going on midnight and my lovely daughter is still awake. She has yet to catch the concept that we sleep at night. Like in my previous post, I miss sleep. However, good news, I finally got a entertainment center instead a small little stand to put my tv on. Which is a lot better since Anna will be scooter pootin here soon,  all the wires to the tv are now hidden and the tv sets up high so there will be no tugging on it. 

    I think I am mindlessly writing due to the lack of sleep. I have nothing else to do while Anna babbles and yells at her toys in her walker. I dare not try to rock her to sleep just yet because that would just end in her screaming and crying while she thrashes about trying to sit up. Letting her play and wearing her self out seems to be the best thing for the both of us. I do not have the energy to rock her right now. But then again getting her to sleep now means I could go to sleep. Ah who am I kidding she isn't going for that right now. American Dad plays in the background, soon these shows will not be watched and I am sure if any of you know Family Guy and American Dad you will agree with me that when she really starts understanding that these shows will not be premitted until she goes to bed. I am thinking about buying a fish. I have three cats, I don't think that poor fish would stand a chance. Buying a fish seems like I would be ultimately sentencing it to death.

My eyes grow blurry just sitting here yet it seems that Anna should be getting tired. With her growing laughter and babbling it feels like she is gaining energy, she should pass it this way. There is so much I have to do around the house that just thinking about doing it makes me tired. My bed room, where her crib resides and yet she never occupys it, has scattered clothes of hers and mine all over the bed. Yes it is folded in different stacks but yet not placed properly where they should be. When I do finally get to it, it seems with in a few days I am rewashing everything and everything is right back on the bed. Why bother? But I have told myself before I do anything tomorrow, I will tackle that room. The child as 4x more clothes than I do. I am not sure how, I have came to the conclusion that they are some how multiplying behind my back. Maybe setting up a camera would catch them in the act ;).

    Ok ok ok, enough of this psycho babble! I am defintely blaming this post on the loss or misplaced sleep! Getting off her and making coffee!

Rainy day

Well today is going to be a rainy day which does not bother me. I love rainy days. So I sit her and watch Anna play in her walker and all I can think about is how lucky I am to have her. What did I do before I had her? Seems like a distant memory that I rarely, if at all, think about. A few days ago she finally cut her bottom two teeth and I sit thinking, in a few weeks she will be 6 months old and it has gone by so quickly. 

Every morning we watch cartoons, just whatever is on but we have a some what of a routine with certain cartoons. But I catch myself still watching them even when she is down for a nap. I will admitt I do enjoy them, lol. As I watch her, I wish time would slow down. The only thing I wish would hurry up is her learning how to sleep through the night. Oh how I wish she would sleep through the night. The bags under my eyes have bags of their own. I miss sleep. I am jealous of those mothers who say their child (around Annas age and even younger) sleep through the night. When they complain how tired they are, all I want to do is say shut up. I get 3 hours of sleep a night and up the rest of the day, now that is tired. 

Anna is becoming stronger every day and I watch as she stiffens up her chunky legs to stand herself up in her walker. When she is doing tummy time, she slides her self just to move forward or to basically move in circles. Soon she will be crawling and I do no think I am ready for that. What I do cherish is rocking her to sleep. She does not fall asleep on her own and I am not complaining one bit about that. Rocking her to sleep seems to be the only time she lets me kiss on her. When she is up and awake and I try to sneak a kiss, she gets mad at me lol. But I will kiss her all over and even she gets mad, she will get over it :). 

So as I sit here and watch her, I try to think of a reason or what I did right to be blessed with such an amazing daughter!

Single Parent

Whether you are a man or woman, being a single parent can be tough. As for me, I am becoming an experianced single mother. There are times where I feel like I am going to pull my hair out but there is more joy and happy times than stressful ones. Here is my story.

This is my beautiful most amazing daughter Annalisa. I am 27-years-old and my plan in life was to be married before having children. I started dating a guy in January of 2011, by April 19 I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. Now before you go thinking I was reckless, we used protection everytime and well as most of us know, it's not 100% effective. Any how, I took a pregnancy test at 6 a.m. when I got ready for work and to shock it was positive. I nearly fell backwards into the tub. After getting myself together and what seemed how to breathe again, I got ready for work and headed in.

Being a assistant manager, I got the store up and running before it was time to open. So while waiting to open the doors, I decided to call my boyfriend at the time and told him to swing by the store since he was getting off his job. Once he got there, I sat him down and told him calmly that I was pregnant. Immediately I could see he had a daze cross his face as he chewed the side of his thumb. We talked for a few and then I started my day. The next person I told was my father, the first thing he said was, "Oh my god." But I never got any negativity from either one of my parents. 

Few weeks went by and I went for my Dr appts and had my ultra sounds and as each day passed, I became more excited. My boyfriends family was not at all happy with the situation and I later found out why. He was no kind of parent to his all ready 8-year-old daughter. At my 12 week ultra sound, which my mother and boyfriend attended with me, I got to see my baby move which was amazing! (Right after he saw the baby move, later that night he hooked up with someone online and cheated on me), However, the whole time my bf was acting distant. A few days later after much arguing we had broke up. Not to long after that, I get a phone call from a girl who claimed to have been dating him for weeks and was wondering about me because she saw he posted repeatedly on my facebook and pictures. I told her my story and to her shock, it was the complete opposite of which he had told her. Apparently he didn't know me and I was a one night stand. 

Between the months of July 2011 to October 2011 he text me 3 times, and it had nothing to do with the pregnancy but if I was dating someone and would I sleep with him. I would never answer him but push the question on why he never asked about the pregnancy or if he ever wondered if I was having a boy or girl, but he would ignore every question. Finally he just stopped talking to me and told everyone I had cheated on him and this wasn't his baby. It did not bother me once that he would not be in my childs life because I didn't want a huge loser like that to influence my child. A 30-year-old man claimed he wasn't grown up enough to raise another child and his sister has control of his bank account. Yeah he is a loser. I found all this out after we broke up. He does not take care of his other daughter and whatever woman he has around takes care of her. He only gets her every other weekend and the only reason he gets her is because his sister makes him. Sad.

Well til this day he does not know if he has a son or daughter, when she was born, her name just basically nothing! And I plan to keep it that way. I have my own personal reason for not going for child support. I have all ready heard the comments, "oh I would get his ass for child support." But like I said I have my reasons not to. 

Although getting a break comes rarely for me, I enjoy every minute I have with Anna. I won't lie, it is one of the toughest things one person has to do alone. But I get to endulge in every mildstone and don't miss a thing! I am enrolled to go back to school this fall and I am kinda excited about that! In a few weeks Anna will be 6 months old and I can not figure out where the time went but wouldn't trade it for the world! 

She is my most amazing gift!

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Refurnishing

So I am thinking about refurnishing my apt. It is so dang boring that I am going to do a renovation. So I am going to post some pictures in 'My place' as a before and then as I gradually start changing things, it will be nice to see the final out come! 

Here is another one of my finds at the thrift store. I loved it and will use it for Annas crayons when she gets older. $1.00, couldn't resist it! 

Here is my day so far!

She hears something in the kitchen...

She see's that her nana has cookies!

She waits to see if her nana is going to give her a cookie...conclusion?

 Showing me that nana gave her a cookie :)

After a bath and getting fresh clothes, she waits as momma has to get dressed to go to Walmart :)

What I am looking at now! Knocked out :)

Photos and downtown!

Headed downtown with Anna and my dad today. Took some great shots that you can see under my photography link! Had a great day until evening fell and Anna has been fussy and crying none stop! She has just cut her bottom two teeth, so I know this has a lot to do with it but I am super exhausted and tired! However, here are some before pictures of Anna but she turned cranky!